I have suffered long enough and the lessons I have learned from the great adventures of last year are as follows:
- “Our stories are not meant for everyone. Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves this before we share: “Who has earned the right to hear my story?” If we have one or two people in our lives who can sit with us and hold space for our shame stories, and love us for our strengths and struggles, we are incredibly lucky. If we have a friend, or small group of friends, or family who embraces our imperfections, vulnerabilities, and power, and fills us with a sense of belonging, we are incredibly lucky.” Brene’ Brown I believe, last year was the first time I had ever thought about deciding if a person has “earned the right” to hear my stories. It has occurred to me that some people ask questions not to get to know you but to use your pain again you at some point. Unfortunately, there are way too many people out there like that. I still have moments where I wish I would have held back information because I know it will blow up in my face soon, but I am more aware now and I do know it is a process.
- I have decided that there is no going back. I have been so lucky in my life to have some awesome boyfriends and I have been even luckier to be able to maintain a friendship with most of them after the breakup. There have been a couple that would not even get a hello from me… The ones I call friends are amazing and I will always love them, but I know that there is no going back, no take two or six. The truth is if it did not work out then it will not work now or in the future. The reason I know this is because people do have the ability to change things and grow into beauty but there are so many things that a person cannot change… one of those things is the past. It will always be there, and I hope there will always be at least some good memories there.
- Probably the most important lesson is taking a long hard look at what exactly I am looking for in a partner. Do we share the same values, interests, etc. Are we willing and able to cheer the other one on and up? There are many other things, but I will leave it at that 😉
More Moving Forward
The care does come back like pride is so true
Utter confusion, no more thoughts of you
An irenic explosion of happiness and joy
The saints are all marching, no need to deploy
Remembering the girl of so long ago
Reaching into you, awakening your soul
Adjusting the light so it will shine through
All the ruptures and crevice illuminate the view
Reparations not needed
The lessons are robust.
Regret from the season
There is only one…
Much Love Much Life