Understanding 365: D 31
Happy Sunday! This is the first day of my week and it starts off so slow. I usually enjoy Sunday morning but this morning I have gotten involved with a one Ms Anne Frank. I cannot stop, but I did for a short time to write this. I cannot believe I have gone this long in my life without knowing this story!
She is an inspiration to me and I believe we pick up books for a reason. We open them when we are ready. Kind of like the yoga saying, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
The last two books I have read have fit this description. Showing up just in time, with a ton of bad reviews, that granted I did not read until after I finished the book. Present over Perfect by Shauna Niequest. Shauna shares her struggles with trying to live the do all, be all lifestyle and how she just got tired and discovered that life does not have to be crazy. It made me realize that there are things in my life that I do, not because I am passionate for or have to do but simply to make money. Yes, I have lost my drive and people can see that. So with no passion and no drive and a tiredness that is beyond all belief. I have searched on how and why these feelings have left. (Subconsciously D1-29) Deciding that it can only be a win/win situation. I have not remained true to myself. I have put the companies needs above all else and even myself. This was a lesson I thought I learned two years ago but I suppose God was sending me a test to see for sure. Failed. So back to the drawing board to recreate my life.
Anne, on the other hand has reconnected me with my inner child. The unsettling way she always feels like she does not fit in. That is how I have felt most of my life but also in the last few weeks with the company. Not having the drive they do to make the deal happen, being passive about decisions. I realize now that it has been because there is a loser in what I am doing and I do not feel good about that. They may can sleep at night but I cannot. I have not in several months. At this moment they cannot change this so we have opted to change my role.
We will see how this works. I am hoping for happiness in this new area.
Rediscovering Life as it was meant to be!
