A man said, I see the hurt in your eyes, it shines bright and clear. I see the loneliness of abuse and anxiety that fills your soul. I see safety, for me, in your eyes, soul, spirit, because you desire the same safety I seek. You desire acceptance and love for being this vulnerable wreak life has crashed upon you. This my darling, is in everyone, but your vulnerability is shining because your warrior is wanting to come out.
I cannot help but think, after years of hearing this statement if some people are attracted to pain and suffering? Back then, I could not understand why my vulnerability was attractive. It looked, felt and was so horrible to me. It was safety to one. Does this go back to misery loves company? Have I been targeted again and again for my vulnerability that cannot be tucked away in my pocket. Or is the safety in: this person knows how life can suck and will not give me a hard time, this person will drink with me, laugh with me and if needed cry with me, or is it that this person will let me treat them like the doormat I have been for the last twenty years. Or is it just please accept me as this crazy mess I am and I have become because your vulnerability is out shining and telling the world you are safely even in the uncomfortable, uncertain and undeserving moment.
I would like to believe that latter but… somehow I doubt that is true. There are some people that try to destroy the vulnerable because they are to weak themselves to pick on full loaded, high impact people. Weakness, is all around vulnerable, self loathing, demons that want to destroy because that feels good for someone else to hurt like they hurt. I believe this hurt can mainly come from a lover or wife but I have been known to be wrong.
Whatever the case maybe, I am so blessed that my first confession of vulnerability attractiveness was what I believe to be sensitive and sincere.