365:301:110

Sometimes, we pray for something for so long: a partner, a job, a change, whatever it may be that our hearts desires. Then when it comes, the things we thought we had figured out or the things we thought we had a wrap around are not exactly what we had in mind… The tests that seemed so easy becomes more difficult when God allows the hearts desires to show up.

The test of who we really are… our values, morals, our purpose in life can become discovered once the things our heart desires start showing up. We want to accomplish these things faster just because there is an inkling of light at the end of the tunnel. Life changes and the changes are so fast our head spends.

There is a place, where we fit so perfectly, so naturally, so organically and there are obstacles that make it feel not so much.

Day nine of sabbatical:

I have discovered that friends may or may not be what they seem. When there is space, there is time, there is understanding and confusion. Changes appear and uncertainty about who a person really is or what they were in the first place, the role, the ideas, the dreams. There is one truth here. A person must believe solely in what they are doing, no matter what the reaction of others, without the opinion of others. Hopefully over time, the understanding will return, the acceptance will return, if it was ever there in the first place.

Another thought: I am of the world, not the word at this moment, even a promise does not satisfy this and it is a promise of knowing or thinking or hoping… doubt has creeped in and I am unsure. Not that I love, but that I am loved. Hindsight, of what is best for me on my timeline has come into play and it effects me on this day. Order that has been placed a long time ago, seems silly and ruthless and painfully more. How can I love so much and feel so sad?

Much Love 💜 Much Life