Understanding: 365:D41

I cannot claim that change makes your life easier, nor does the yoga. I have really been trying to be present and noticing as much as possible. The thing that kills me is when the universe or God or whatever steps in after we make a decision to do something or not do something, He makes it down right impossible to do what you said you did not want to do. Even if it’s just for one more week or to help a brother out.

I believe after we make that freedom decision, the one where we are going in the right direction, listening to our heart, mind, body and soul. Anything outside of that seems forced. I have felt like such a failure this week because I have done this. Granted, all weeks are not successful but I am placing my energy in things that I do not need to and I have to stop it right now. These things are zapping me like nothing else has in a long time.

People pleaser has to be stopped! I have been trying to force myself to do these things that I do not want to do and it has been very difficult to be successful. Not that I have been all in on these activities in a long time but I am really tired and need a break. I need a definite recharge. I need to take a trip. I need a place to refill my heart and soul. Just for a day or two. Just dreaming a bit before snapping back into reality.