Gratitude

Getting the news

I woke at 3 am in with a sharp pain in my side, unable to find a comfortable place I got out of bed and starting pacing. Pacing for an hour, I believe I wore myself out enough to just fall back to sleep. Waking the next morning, feeling sleep deprived and sore from the nights episode I continued on with my day. By 9:30 that morning I was doubled over in pain crying. I had never experienced pain like this before. It felt like someone had just stabbed me in the side. I’m rushing off to the ER. I know this is not good. After two hours of tests and waiting the results are back and I’m healthy and here is something for pain. Oh and if you are still in pain next week, go get a stress test.

That was how it began, So I felt better, weak but better. Actually, I have never felt so weak in all my life. I do yoga at least twice a day and run at least ever other day and all the sudden it is killing me to walk to my car…. Something is bad wrong. I go to my doctor, more tests, more waiting, a week and first thing Monday morning, as if Monday morning needs any more stress or discomfort, I get the call from my nurse. I have lupus.

Lupus is a chronic autoimmune disease that can damage any part of the body (skinjoints, and/or organs). “Chronic” means that the signs and symptoms tend to last longer than six weeks and often for many years. https://resources.lupus.org/entry/what-is-lupus

So in a nut shell, the immune system, which normally fights for our well being, becomes confused and instead of just fighting off germs and viruses, it fights everything even the healthy parts of our body.  Wow, that is pretty intense but there are over 16,000 people that get diagnosed with lupus ever year, there are tons of people that go into remission. This is not the end of the world, this is a small change in my world and evidently 15,999 others this year.

So on day two of knowing the news, I do not think I actually went into the whole “why me” phase. Why not me? I was semi-happy to know what was wrong and that it can be controlled. I’m going to dive into nutrition, more than ever before and do my best to share my findings.  I realize that I have to make a lot of changes, the hardest one I believe at this time is I have to stop vaping.  I started vaping September 21, 2015 and have not touched a cigarette since. I’m down to the lowest nicotine available but this is going to be tough.  This is the part where I would like to just focus solely on my diet and exercise and know that everything is going to be fine but unfortunately this time I cannot do that.  I do not have a plan right now for this but I will.  I will conquer this demon!!! One step at a time!!!

I will conquer this lupus!!!

Joyful & Blessed

Author: Joy

I am Joy I am content I am patient I am love I am free, fabulous and fit. I am all these things and so much more. I am struggle I am hopelessness I am sad I am endurance I am a warrior I am a princess I am my Father's daughter I am a survivor of loss of hurt of pain. I am encouragement I am influence I am Joy.

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