I am aware

I felt the rain coming all day, seeing the storm approach, dark and gloomy skies. Sadness covers my eyes, fills my mind, makes me sleepy. The heart is heavy, lonely and bitter. I am aware. I see change in the distance, I long for it to quickly come. It does not hurry. I wait, but it’s coming I feel it. Not sure I like it.

I am aware of the night coming just as slow, I am ready for slumber, to sleep like a cat, to let go and wake and do it again and again. The dryer sounds just as I dozed.

All to familiar, same, I am aware: losing but being grateful for what’s left, who is left, the gray sky, the rain on my face, wind in my hair, grateful for my life, my friends, the cat, mostly the cat. Silence, oh I am so grateful for silence, it’s rare.

I am aware that people can be mean and hateful, the same people can also be wonderful. It is the matter of weight, balance.

Stillness, I am grateful, clean clothes, clean tub with bubbles and lavender. I’m grateful for not having to answer the phone, I miss talking about nothing and dreaming about what’s next, on the phone, downtown to far to drive, more so to Savanna. Teachers, I understand the importance of being still, to rest when needed. Shavasana.

I understand the importance of the top five, may they be what you want to become. Shining bright or sneaking in life. Change is coming, letting go and accepting. Left side, right side, left brain, right brain, left foot, right foot, keep going.

I understand the dark and gloomy days.

The sun came out, just before it set. Another day has passed, another day will come. I am aware, I am grateful.

Author: Joy

I am Joy I am content I am patient I am love I am free, fabulous and fit. I am all these things and so much more. I am struggle I am hopelessness I am sad I am endurance I am a warrior I am a princess I am my Father's daughter I am a survivor of loss of hurt of pain. I am encouragement I am influence I am Joy.

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