Gratitude, The Challenge....

It is Hard to Say

365:D86

I love you, see how easy that is to type out… took zero effort on my part. I did not suffer any kind of weird stab in the heart or knees not trembling but to express my feelings to a one certain person it is like I am totally blind sighted. He is the most amazing person and I am thinking that I keep pushing him away but he has so much to deal with and I think… why add my crazy to his list.

I am pretty sure I love him, but how do you know for sure that you love someone??????? I am not sure there is a sure fire way to know that “this is the one” but my heart says YES, my mind is over there thinking hummmm…

Why does this have to be so hard? Why can we not just simply trust each other. Why can we just make our lives work? I do understand that we are in two totally different places. I understand if he does not want to rush into anything but he seems like he does. We are like in that vacation mood… it would be nice to stay forever but real life is not a vacation. I am safe in his arms, he is safe in mine, we watch Disney movies and he knows the words to the songs and I want to spend the rest of my life swinging on the front porch, holding his hand and even watching stupid football, I probably would… he gets so distant, he is upset that I do not share, I get upset when he has radio silence.

No answer, but unsure…

Author: Joy

I am Joy I am content I am patient I am love I am free, fabulous and fit. I am all these things and so much more. I am struggle I am hopelessness I am sad I am endurance I am a warrior I am a princess I am my Father's daughter I am a survivor of loss of hurt of pain. I am encouragement I am influence I am Joy.

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