It was not to long ago, one of my students told another student, who is a close friend, how much she enjoyed my class. She went on and on to my friend about this and I was a bit shocked. It felt good but I was surprised. Not to much longer after this, my friend introduces, formally, the girl and myself and what was said was true. She went on about how she enjoys the class and again I am shocked. One I am shocked because someone actually enjoys my class this much but what is deeper “that girl” enjoys my class. Remember, back in high school… yes we are going back, “that girl” the prettiest, smartest, most likely to succeed, marry, have kids, have a career, and do it all perfectly? “That girl” in high school was always kind and loving and as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside, but when I left my small town middle of nowhere school, that girl changed. “That girl” became mean and hateful and she started to populate. She was represented by many different girls. So my view of “that girl” changed and any one that resembled her, I stayed far away from… The problem with having this kind of stereotype is that I am sure now that I missed out on a ton of great friendships because of this. I let a few girls in college change my outlook and began placing everyone that was pretty and had all their ducks in a row into this group and by doing this I not only lost opportunity but I also lost self esteem. The constant judgement of this had my little conscience saying “you are not good enough to be their friend”. Through the years I have had a very few girlfriends and the ones I have had definitely had to work to earn my trust and it was so worth it! Still now I am very guarded about who I trust and I have recently backed off of one girlfriend because she has not been very supportive lately and that is okay too.
It is true, anything that is to grow, must be taken care of. I believe firmly that we must take good care of ourselves in order to grow and take good care of our friendships if they are to grow and last. Everyone will not make the cut but the ones that do, need to be nurtured and loved.
Much Love 💜 Much Life