The Challenge....

Missing Out


Inspiration has been distant as distractions have grown

Changes of habit, routines and feelings; life

Moves so quickly as does time; and it is all we have

Today, this moment, not yesterday or last year

Not in the shadow of a kiss but now

Precious current

Slowly flows at my feet

Cool deep waters sparkling chic

Beauty shines into the heart

Impressions that imprint and mark

Releasing of the bitter pain

God, may I never hurt again

Like that moment of griefened sorrow

May I always long for tomorrow

It happened, in a fun and interesting conversation about travel and past events. A question of why sneaking in so unexpected… My thoughts always go to because of economical reasons…  because in truth things are done either for the above mentioned or emotional reasons. Is that not why we buy things? Make the choices we make?

I was wrong on this subject or maybe I was partially right but still partially wrong. The question is not really that important but the answer. The answer this time was emotional and about getting to know another person and building relationship that may be able to continue.

Or not… As I looked back at that time, I remembered things that happened, said, seen and discussed. I got to see a part of a person that I had known for years that I had never seen. He also got to see me, and I remember him saying to me one night at dinner, “this is your thing”.  It did not hit me then, but it did last night. I know exactly what he was talking about.

Where we shine and get so bright that others around can see the magic. The magic that we all have inside of us that comes out when we are in our element. I think for so long with this person I had learned to hide my light from him because he just did better if he was the one shining and looking back, I do not think anyone else was ever allowed to shine. Competition was always great and not in a kind and friendly way.  More of in an aggravating and annoying way. To the point where eventually I stopped having those conversations with him.

This trip had to be the boiling point for him. Maybe because it was the point, we truly separated either in an acceptance of being black and white or for myself seeing there was never a competition in the first place. There was just him saying that he was better at everything than me and me doing the best I could at being me.

This realization has been a route in forgiveness. There is a comfort today that I feel toward this person and towards all that I have had in my life that have his ways.  It is freeing.

Much Love Much Life

Author: Joy

I am Joy I am content I am patient I am love I am free, fabulous and fit. I am all these things and so much more. I am struggle I am hopelessness I am sad I am endurance I am a warrior I am a princess I am my Father's daughter I am a survivor of loss of hurt of pain. I am encouragement I am influence I am Joy.

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