365: 259: 68
Shifting away from fear can be very hard especially if that has been our default for so many years. This week, the shift has begun, truly. I am feeling the change come and it is amazing. Small things over this week have made a huge difference and it has been a hard week. If this week would have happened three months ago, I would have probably dropped my basket. I am still processing the devastation of the week, still trying to understand and I am being very patient with myself. The best thing is that the 1000 head monster, he is not as big as my God. For most of my life he has been the biggest, scariest thing in world, but when I see him as what he really is, a man that is very messed up. Very confused and disturbed. He is not that scary. He told me something a few years ago and this week it became truth. When he told me his plan, I shook my head in disbelief, knowing this was perhaps the craziest thing he had ever said. I had hoped and prayed that he was not serious. Now that I see that he was, I see him for who he is and I know there is no room for him in my life anymore. Other things have happened as well, apart from the monster. Seeing God as big as He really is has given me a voice to speak my truth. It is a tiny voice right now but it is growing. I am growing and grateful. My voice has taken the discomfort I have felt with friends and squished it. We should not feel uncomfortable around friends, especially if we have the power to talk. If they are a true friend, they will hear. My voice will grow, it will speak peace and love. It will be calm.
Much Love💜 Much Life