365:D175

Undefined is an expression in mathematics which does not have meaning and so which is not assigned an interpretation. It is not given meaning or significance, as by a definition; not defined or explained. It is without fixed limits; indefinite or unlimited in form, extent, or application.

I have defined undefined for a reason. It is very important to be clear in communication to reach understanding. I choose this word today because I spent so much of my early twenties, just like so many of us do, undefined. Unsure about career paths, relationships status’ and sometimes even addresses. Then somewhere along the road we start finding our way and labels start coming into play. We find out dream job and get a label, soulmate and get to be wife, child is born, we get to be mom. I however, in my twenties discovered wife did not sit well with me, nor did any other label except maybe daughter and realtor. The real label that placed so much question on my heart was Christian. I saw how my fellow Christians treated people in the community, treated me when things did not go as planned or bad things happened and I did not want to be placed under this label. I did not want to be like them. This one label made me start looking at other labels differently. My relationships began being undefined, this false sense of commitment, a safety mechanism, a guard, undefined, lack of significance, without fixed limits, whatever. Meaning I really did not have to care about others, no one cared about me and eventually I became the single woman. A label that I am very proud of today. This label has significant meaning, that I am in no form or fashion settling for less than I deserve. I will not spend time in the company of gentlemen that does not have my best interest at heart and does not have a personal relationship with God. He can fall under the label of Christian if he chooses but if the relationship is not there, I am not interested.

This whole thing with labels came up on Sunday, yes Franco did it again, made me think way to long and hard about what we want and need in our relationships. He did not necessarily talk about labels but he did talk about the danger of getting involved with someone who is not equally yoked. Another thing he spoke on was the “ologist”. He said that a man needs to be a wifeoloist and study her, know her and love her. I believe this is true on both sides in a relationship. Both parties should be an expert on the other. This is where my last undefined failed. I did not really try to get to know him mainly because I was so unsure of his intentions and then he stopped trying to get to know me and boom, ball was dropped. So now I am over here in undefined recovery. The mirror has shown me hopefully everything that was needed to see and perhaps now moving on… I know the path I am on right now, its one that is filled with the Lords guidance, understanding and love. I am defined as a daughter of God… nothing else really matters!

Much Love 💜 Much Life