365:264:73

Knowing the source of anxiety and Giving it to God is the key. I remember when my mom was sick and I would have horrible anxiety attacks on the way down to see her. I could not figure out where it was coming from. I kept thinking, “I’m doing the right thing by going down there, she needs me. God, why is the travel becoming so hard?”

I needed to be still, stop completely and process. I was filling myself up with fear and anxiety because I knew she was dying. Every time I got ready to go I knew this could be the last time I see her. The last hug, the last kiss. The last I love you. I was trying to control the situation but it was not mine to control. When I expressed this to her, she knew I was tired and gave me permission to rest. One time. What we need sometimes is someone to give us permission to rest. We do not feel comfortable in the stillness because of the opportunity to aide and assist, to love and cherish, the slowing down long enough to process that information, to be alone with it. What was life going to be like without her?

Hindsight God gave me several examples of this during her sickness. His message was always to be still, wait on me. Which is when yoga started showing up. The ability to do nothing and just be present, to not be bored, just be, to wait on God.

This season of life has been sad, extremely sad

The longueur increases with each day, depressing day.

Those flowers have bloomed into beauty, extreme beauty.

For the last time, this time.

Peace comes floating in like a cloud, gleaming cloud.

Rain washes away the pain.

Grieving pain

I let you go to freedom

My freedom, your freedom, to walk in the clouds, parting them so the sun shines down. I feel the warmth, forever thinking of you, my sunshine.

Much Love 💜🌞💜 Much Life