365:240:49

And for no reason whatsoever, three am, I am wide awake.i did not bother going back to sleep this morning. My thoughts are all over the place so after my normal morning rituals except coffee, I am still awake, it is almost five. I love this time of morning. It makes me so happy to be up this early, it’s so quiet, the birds are not even singing yet. My thoughts are on making things make sense. Right now, there is not much in the world that does this. I have been out of work for 49 days and that seems impossible but it is true. I am not sure at this time that I will even have a job to go back to, this is scary. Wiping the slate clean and starting over might be the new thing. I am in deep prayer daily on what I should do. For the first time I really have to think what is best for me and not ask for advise from anyone. Luckily today is Sunday and hopefully I will get some kind of answers from service. In my devotional this morning, Rick Warren talked about three things not to do when we are faced with trouble: listening to bad advise, following the crowd and relying on circumstances. Number two is not a problem for me at all but the first one has always been a problem, I want to know what others think, what they would do, not that I always follow the advise given but I still like to ask. Number three is my concern. The last few mistakes I have made and they were not huge mistakes but they made my life uncomfortable for a while. Now that we are so free on a day to day basis I see how tiring my old lifestyle was and how driving all over the world everyday has not been the best thing for me. I remember when I moved to Memphis, I promised myself that I would never take a job where I spent more than thirty minutes in a car going to work…. This stayed true until the passion for the job was bigger than the drive but nonetheless it has wore me out. So many things have popped into my mind that have been on my to do list for years: going back to school to get my masters, leaning more towards personal training, YouTube channel, writing a book, getting out of Memphis, living on a boat, traveling… not right now, although I have traveled more in the last 49 days that I have in the last four years. This is actually a perfect time to make plans for my life. The real five year plan… Ten year plan. Like I used to do, like people tell me to do all the time, I’m not calling names here but you know who you are. Now that I have coffee, why am I so sleepy??? I will not go back to sleep, right now. It would be fun to go back to school and it would tie in perfectly with what I am doing now. Definitely more opportunities would be available when I finished. This has been on my to do list since 2006… yeah, it’s time to make things happen.

Much Love 💜 Much Life