365:220:27

Rest, even during lockdown, I have found it hard to rest but yesterday I did. I napped throughout the day, watched television, ate and was able to sleep the whole night through and still today I am tried. Emotionally and physically tired. There is a wee bit of depression sneaking in and I have been practicing non attachment, which in itself is a very draining practice. Not only am I practicing it but also teaching about it in my videos. Plus I ran four days in a row. Every day felt good but now I am tired and I hope this goes away soon because I do not know how much more television I can watch. So it has been 27 days that I have not been at the club and all but just a couple of days I have fallen into passion of photos, videos, writing and creating. Even our passions can overwhelm us sometimes and I never have good balance. Still learning how to manage that.

I keep thinking about Mr. Parker. Why he had to leave so soon. The consequences of his passing, trying not to feel guilty but I do. Taking care of myself is all I have to do at this moment for the first time in a very long time. I do not have aging parents, or a friend that needs me to care for, only myself and I am not doing the best that I can… sugar is a problem. Actually the only problem, except for the said over investing in passion. I am thankful for this time to figure out the best way to care for myself. Maybe that is what God is doing right now, trying to teach us all how to care for ourselves. We are all obviously doing a bad job. I’m referring to the virus. Here I am over here again looking for a why and the why is irrelevant. It is happening and my joints hurt and it is because I cannot resist sugar, dang those chocolate covered m&ms.

I am unsure of what this day has in store for me but we will see.

Much Love 💜 Much Life