Why did you not say something?
I was asked this yesterday and did not really know what to say… what causes us to hold our tongue, not to speak our truth or even just say something good, sweet and adorable?
Opening up to someone requires a certain amount of safety and trust. This is not a topic that can be overlooked. It takes time to build this trust, this safety in communication. Even once it has been built, it can be torn down within seconds.
I remember losing this safety, the exact moment, the sarcasm among friends. Uncertainty of my day, of my friends situation, change of plans that were made, last minute surprises. How sensitive I was about my friends husband being in the hospital all day, how I was unsure about the seriousness of this situation, how I had hoped and prayed all day that she would call and say “I will see you later, at the ballet.” She did not. I spoke of this worry like it was no big deal but I am sure the truth was on my face as it always is and speaking such made it real and I was not ready for real. If I had held this in and not spoken a word, it would have not been so real, you would not have made fun. Everything was a blur and I did not know why, the truth was spoken and I needed to cry.
Hindsight shows the truth of the matter, not done in spite but all in fun and not knowing each other all that well but still set the stage for relational hell.
So why did I not say something about a day that means so much, a day that changed life, one that will always be remembered, August 16th, well, I have said enough and does it even really matter?