365 D110

I remember being a kid, having all my girlfriends come over and spend the night on Friday nights. We had so much fun, watched movies, went skating, ate, laughed a lot. This was a once a month thing that we did, maybe more depending on how many birthdays occurred during the month or whatever special occasion we could come up with. They would stay sometimes until Saturday evening depending on what their parents had going on. I remember after the last girl would leave, I would feel this huge gap of loneliness, abandonment, heartache. I hated so much for them to leave. This feeling would last for sometimes hours. I just liked having them there and it seemed like even when I would call one of them after, it would still not fill that void.

Yesterday, was my first day back for classes. My classes are filled with such good energy, good people and after the third one, that old feeling of despair came over me. Now that I am older, I have learned how to fight this feeling so it doesn’t linger to long but it has been a long time since I have felt this, it almost hit me blindsided.

I began to write my feelings, looking for the reason why this has came up so suddenly. Many reasons popped up; the middle class is a new format for me and I have struggled with it for about 6 weeks. Wednesday was the first time that I felt semi good about it, not confident but good, notes are the way to go! My sweet animal companion, is not doing well. We may not have to many more days together. I just realized that I need to go back to plan A. I have made an adjustment to my life plan about four months ago and it is clear as of this morning that plan A is much better and healthier. Yes, this morning I broke out the old T chart or pros and cons chart… amazing tool when you are unsure about something or someone.

So the conclusion of this over shared and overly dramatic post is to find something to dive into if that loneliness feeling comes up. Cry if you need to, feel your pain then get back up and find something constructive to get into!

💜 Feels like a Throwback Thursday! Make it beautiful!