365 D103

The last few days, I have been increasingly hungry. Tuesday, I was told not to eat after midnight. So I have been unable to get full since or at least stay full. For the most part I have been back on paleo, which very well could be causing these hunger pains but I did have 1/4 muffuletta yesterday…. bread always makes me feel full! It did not.

So this is not really about hunger but it is about hunger just not in the belly. Is it possible that during this whole event of being scared about “do I have cancer” ordeal, that there has been a longing for support from family or people that are blood related? Why is it so hard to let go of these people? They clearly do not want to be present. Perhaps, this has been a mutual movement. Questions of “is this really alright”? Deep down is this really okay? Do people really just walk away from blood?

A friend, was telling a story of how his son just let go of his mom because of something she had done. He was devastated that his son would do such a thing and finished his thoughts with “People just do not walk away from family. Our families are always there. They are always a part of you. Good people do what is best for their family.” Good people…

Even deeper on the dive in, isn’t our time precious? Do we all not want to enjoy the time we have on this planet. Would it not be a waste of time to be bored, frustrated or harmed? Should we seek out people who inspire our creativity, care about our well being, and long to see us grow? The connection is real, but how do you know? There is sometimes that instant connection of, yep, that is going to be my friend. The happiness and energy just flows so naturally, then others, it may not be so BAM in your face exploding. So today, I am thankful for the non-blood family I have. I am thankful that my mind is not so limited to Good and Bad people. I am thankful for all the broken pieces but I am not getting hurt by them anymore.