Bee Happy & Free, The big thing

When it Hits Home


There are things that come across our paths that we are uncertain of until they are in our face.

Last night I had dinner with my best friend. It was absolutely disgusting because he is twitterpatted… Falling in love and I am over here trying to fall out of love… hard times but he listened to all my crap when I was all twitterpatted so I’m trying to be a support system. Really I am happy for him and want the best for him but the longer we talked about this new love the more I became uncertain. Love can make you blind and you have to have time to step back to see what is really happening. When I look back on my summer escapade, I can see now that it was a huge amount of infatuation going on over there. Infatuation allows you to just throw all your morals and values out the window. This is because infatuation is not coming from love. It is only an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone.

Back to last night, my friend has an addictive personality. There are things he has given up in the past that he knows he can never go back to. Big danger signs that would affect everyone in his life. This new love has been known to do these dangers and he’s not sure how far she is removed from these dangers.

This is scary to me. I do not want to see him travel down that road again and at this point I think he would hang the moon and stars for this girl. Even in my worst infatuation as an adult there are a couple of things that will send my arm out fast with no deal. The push backs for me have always been someone who uses drugs, hangs out daily in bars, has anger issues or any signs of this, smokes inside of doors, uses profanity in every sentence and people who have no faults. Okay that is more than a couple but my point is that these were my standards until this summer. Remember that infatuation can throw all the values and morals out of the window… the DM has all these push backs except for the smoking inside of doors… so how did he get in? Honestly everything was hidden for the initial time period except for occasional dropping of the f bomb and the pot smoking. Outside of seeing the small signs and ignoring them, which lead to larger signs which lead to big heartache. What was I thinking??? Now that it’s been nearly a month without talking to him and only getting the email bash. I wonder what in the world did I see in him? Why was I willing to deal with all of this crap that I really do not like just to be with him? How did I get to this place? Oh my goodness, the answers are terrifying but in summary, over time, change in environment & situations we come to adapt to different things. Things that we do not really care for but in those times and situations, we sometimes feel like we do not have a choice and just have to deal with what is thrown at us. Long term results of this means a lower in standards or being more acceptable to the once non-acceptable. This goes back to being in a safe environment and being surrounded by like minded people. Some environments may seem safe but in truth they are not because of all the small toxins they provide. It is so hard to find a truly safe place. I am not sure if it even really exists unless you can find it within yourself.

Much Love 💜 Much Life

Author: Joy

I am Joy I am content I am patient I am love I am free, fabulous and fit. I am all these things and so much more. I am struggle I am hopelessness I am sad I am endurance I am a warrior I am a princess I am my Father's daughter I am a survivor of loss of hurt of pain. I am encouragement I am influence I am Joy.

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