365 D 131

Distraction totally have changed the day as they always do. Plans do not go as we thought, there is always a little something off. A phone call, idea or feeling that is not right. There goes the day, clean out of sight. Is it the expectations or needs to get all this done or maybe a day for rest, instead of run, run, run.

My studies today are on consciousness… I am aware that I am so out of focus today that this is driving me bonkers! I have done all the normal things but I cannot hold my attention for any amount of time. Well, I have not meditated or did yoga so that could possibly be the key. I am trying to let go of control over something I have never had control over today and it is hard. I want to change things so fast but nothing is going fast enough.

My mind is spinning and all I can do is be here, breathe and notice. The truth is, the why is not very important. Everything is or it is not. The why does not matter and I really like to know why, just as if I am five years old. I love the why, the reason things happen, the meaning behind actions, the big ah ha! No need for that because it is not or it is. Simple, why confuses and causes chaos. Acceptance of is or is not… difficult