365:D131

I am on the tail end of a very long and physical week. Overbooked my schedule to something I was uncertain that I could complete especially when on Sunday I felt like I was at the end of my rope, physically, emotionally and mentally. I had left early Sunday, a super Sunday of meeting and eating with friends that I had planned and put together. I still had one last stop to visit another friend before I could rest. I did not think I would make it and I did not. I went home, laid on the sofa and stared blankly into the ceiling. So tired I could not even sleep. The last thought I remember thinking before drifting off that evening was kindness.

I needed kindness so bad at that moment but not necessarily from another being but from myself. The habit of non-stop had creeped back into my life and I was feeling it then.

Sometime in these moments on the sofa as I drifted off, I had the huge realization of what kindness really is all about. I was worried that my community and friends were going to be upset with me retiring early and not showing up, but I let that go.

The next morning, I woke and sent my friend a message, this time not apologizing but a message of thankfulness that I gave myself permission to rest when I needed to do so. This was so empowering! That I decided right then that this week, I would be kind to myself in all places, in all spaces! Monday I took a morning nap and an afternoon nap. I have eaten three meals each day. Two involved gluten but that is ok too. I told my roommate that I had to be kind to myself this week and get as much rest as possible and so far he has respected that. To top off all of these things… my massage therapist has fully recovered from breast cancer and is trying to fill her weekend up, so I booked an appointment for Saturday.

I have to admit that this week has been incredible! I still have been accountable to my daily tasks and was able to do them with much higher spirits. I did not plan lunch dates which I hate but I will make up for that in the weeks to come. I did realize that this kindness thing is possibly the best thing anyone can do for themselves! It is totally a mindset but it also involves the ability to say no when needed and not feeling bad about that decision.