Have you ever just had a feeling about something or someone that you just cannot put your finger on? This strange awkward feeling that something is just not right? Weeks later, you might have that ah ha moment of “I totally knew that” but you did not really, you just had that sneaking suspicion?
I am the girl, that does not trust this inner alarm we all have, this caution sign, this warning light. In most cases, I think I am just overthinking everything and try to lean in to trust people… but lately I have begun to trust this weird awkward part of myself. Really listening to the vibes of my body and I have to say, this is really quiet the amazing tool we humans have. Granted, there has not been the big ah ha moment yet but that might not come until much later if ever. Maybe I will never know if I am right or wrong but it does feel good to feel safe, at least in one area of my life.
During the grief or trauma of life, sometimes we get so overwhelmed with pain that this inner feeling just gets ignored or maybe the pain is so intense that we do not even have the ability to feel the intuition or anything else for that matter. I have finally made a breakthrough to where I can feel again, cry again and even laugh again. This process takes time and the desire to want a better life than just wallowing in sorrow. Up until about six months ago, I do not think I had the desire to get out of my grief. It had become comfortable and familiar. It was better than the reality I woke up to everyday. The fog was heavy and thick. It is still lifting, I cannot see clearly but I can see, i can feel and I can hurt intensely and I do. It feels good to listen to my body, to be kind to myself and to find love for myself again.
May all hearts heal and find peace and love!